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In the spring semester of 2024, for my English class, I was assigned a paper in which I was to write as if I were speaking to my past self about a life-altering experience. I decided to write to the young Vicky, who was navigating the internet, searching for more information about Autism Spectrum Disorder, and eventually came across a blog. She felt as if the blog post writer was speaking to her directly; that’s because she was. I write in detail about a time when my son got diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and how uncertain the future felt. The intentions I had when I decided to share a deep personal experience were to help other parents in the same predicament as I once was, not to feel alone. I can only hope that my words resonate with their experience. It’s been quite a few years since then, and the growth has been astonishing, not just with my son but within me as well.

Society has developed ways for us to have accessible answers to our questions, whether that be a book, an article, a blog post, or now a YouTube video. They have created manuals for any item you purchase that requires building. Don’t you wish life was always this easy? Don’t you wish life also came with a manual? A manual for that area of your life with such significance and value that it requires guidance. No book can prepare you for motherhood, let alone when your child receives an Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis. No book can validate the emotions you are currently experiencing, but I can. I will.
You just went through a life-changing experience, and I want you to know I validate your emotions. It is entirely valid for you to be currently experiencing feelings of sadness, confusion, and fear. It is completely okay not to want to give explanations or speak more in-depth with extended family members about the diagnosis; you are still processing what you went through. It is okay for you to continue to research more about Autism Spectrum Disorder. It led you to this blog post, and I am grateful for it. Now, I have to be honest; I will tell you what is not okay. It is not okay to feel hopeless. It is not okay to feel guilty. It is not okay to question yourself as a mother. To be doubtful and fearful of the future will prevent you from growing. You have the potential to grow tremendously in this area of your life. Believe me when I tell you that it gets better.
For it to get better, it will get worse. I am not telling you these words so you can become discouraged. I must acknowledge that you will experience adversity due to your lack of understanding. And in those moments, you will realize that patience is a virtue. You will learn and grow. You will find new ways to improve your son’s quality of life. You will attend parent educational meetings to help you understand more about Autism Spectrum Disorder. Your circumstances should not define you. You are adapting and accepting life as it is, which will redefine you. Adapting to your new life will be easier said than done. Let me explain why: you are embarking on a new journey of organization, productivity, and communication. Due to frequent pediatrician-therapy appointments, you will learn how to become more organized with your schedule and time. In the beginning, you won’t make sense of it, but becoming more productive will be on your agenda because it will bring closure. Closure to the idea of the life you thought you would live. You will interact with other parents going through the same life experience as you, who eventually will become your closest friends. Your faith will grow. And your communication skills will expand once you realize that your son’s method of communication is not verbal.
Through it all, you will remain hopeful of the future. You will hope that one day, your son will communicate with you with words rather than body or sign language. You will expect to see growth in your son’s social skills because you will understand the benefits of all the therapy services he receives. Eventually, you will experience an impactful moment when you witness your son socializing with his older brother like he never has before. Not only will he be interacting, but he will also be interested in the toys he is playing with, which is major because he wouldn’t attempt to engage with toys before. Experiencing moments like that in your life will give you the drive to continue persevering. The definition of perseverance is the ability to continue to do something despite obstacles, failure, or opposition. That defines your new life. After your son receives the diagnosis, you will realize how resilient you and your family can be. Not only will you adapt to the unique circumstances, but you will also advise parents who are in a position you were once in. Your advice will consist of the knowledge you wish to have acquired in those early days. Do not lose hope when you realize that your previous lifestyle no longer resonates with you and you start to feel alone. I assure you that your loneliness won’t be in vain. You will meet individuals who will become your best support system. Allow help in your life. Do not be discouraged. At the end of the day, it does take a village to raise a child. This is only the beginning.